Appearances are tricky things. They can lead a dying man to think that there is water in the midst of the Sahara or convince a poor man that his rich neighbor has the good life. They can make a parent think childhood is always innocent. They can even make you think there is only one member of a plural group. Goodness knows doctors have fallen for this numerous times.
The assumption made by psychiatrists and by a lot of people in the world at large, if they believe multiplicity exists at all, is that there is one original body owner who all the others split off from due to great trauma. There is always at least one person who looks like the body. And it is generally also assumed that this is the original person. They never stop to consider a that there might not even BE an original person, b that the original person's self image might not match the body and C that maybe the body doesn't match anybody at all. Then when they come upon a system with either of the above-stated differences from their assumption they stare and gawk at them like a child in a museum gawking at sharks and say "But this isn't how it's supposed to be." And when people don't understand things they have a habit of classifying that which they don't understand as fake or delusional. "Oh they must be just making this up." They never stop to think that maybe the person or persons are telling the truth. Things would be so much easier if they simply said "I don't understand." and waited for an explanation.
But there is the matter of pride which stops them. They are afraid to ask for an explanation because that would be admitting that they don't understand or in the case of psychologists, admitting that maybe their textbooks did not teach them everything. And that is hard and it is something every last person on this earth, whether multiple or singlet or median struggles with. It's something so ingrained that it's going to be hard to remove. With this rampant assuming going on, no wonder people find it hard to understand that someone wouldn't match the body necessarily.
Let me use myself and my co-writer as examples here. I am a tall, thin, wiry fifteen-year-old boy. I have short, spiky brown hair and blue eyes. I usually can be found wearing sweaters and nice, although slightly faded jeans. My co-writer, Rayvin, is about five six, is not so thin but not so round either and wears thick spectacles. She has light brown hair that falls to halfway of her back. Now looking at our descriptions they seem reasonable don't they? You've seen people on the streets who look like us. But neither of us look like the body we use to interact with this world. The body has short auburn hair and brown eyes and is somewhat overweight. It is also shorter than almost anybody here and is definitely female.
So where do Rayvin and I fit in? Neither of us is the "original" person. And neither is anybody else here. Our group doesn't work on that premise. This body doesn't belong to any of us more than it does any other. There is someone here who bears the body's name but she wasn't born here. She came to front here much much later and took on the name because nobody had it. Before that a variety of people filled the role of "primary fronter" And none of them looked anything like the body.
So this begs the question "Are we delusional?" We don't think so. And even if we are, what does it matter? We're not harming anyone. We're obeying all the rules present in society. We take care of ourselves, make sure housework, homework, college and other chores get done. We do not sit around all day staring into space or at a computer. And the fact that none of us looks like the body is just taken as an environmental factor. When we come front we know the body is shorter than we are. And when I come front I know that I am going to be in a female body with all that entails.
So the point I am trying to make here is that appearances can be deceiving. Even though the body appears to be a slightly overweight female who is very small of stature, don't assume anything. Don't assume the person behind those eyes looks the same. Don't even assume the person you are speaking with is female or that you are only speaking to one person. You could be speaking to several people at once working together. Or the person you're speaking to could even be of another species altogether. So it is better to ask than assume anything. We will be glad to answer.
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