I want you to imagine something. I want you to imagine that it is a bright sunny morning in autumn. You just woke up from a refreshing night's sleep to the sun shining in your window. Everything looks normal. But you can't shake the feeling something' not right.
You open your eyes, rub out the sleep...And it hits you. You're alone, completely and totally alone. You go turn on the TV, only to be greeted with silence. No morning news, no reruns of old tv shows, no cartoons. Just silence.
You go to call a friend. You pick up the phone and are greeted with a dial-tone. For just a minute you're happy. This silence thing is really getting scary. You call the familiar number, but the phone doesn't ring in. It just clicks and goes back to dial-tone. And it does that to every number you try to dial. You start feeling panicked...Or perhaps worried.
You go outside and the streets are empty. What once was a bustling city is now a ghost town. No cars move along the highways. All the stores are open for business but there're no people inside. It's like the entire world has been emptied of people and you're alone. No family, no friends, no complete strangers. Just you...In a complete silence.
That is what being stuck front feels like. Or it's the closest analogy I can think of. One moment you can hear the other members of your system. You know where people are. You know you are a multiple. You know who's going to take that history exam with the hellishly hard fifty-point essay question. You know who studied what. You can turn around and say something to the person behind you or the person to your right.
And the next moment it's all gone. You're alone, completely in control of the body, with all the responsibilities. You can handle the associated responsibilities, but it's rather unnerving. Perhaps you were talking to someone when it happened. If that's the case it's even worse because your sentence just kind of trails off into silence as you realize the person you were trying to talk to is gone.
When you are locked into front it can feel very scary. You can feel like it will never lift. However, you have to keep hoping that it eventually will. Because if you stop hoping it'll drive you even more nuts than being stuck will. And finally when you unstick people will be so glad to see you. Because chances are they were away from front trying to get to you.
So why do people get stuck front? Being stuck front can happen for a number of reasons. The most common one is recent stress, but others could be an in-system fight, a temporary loss of communication, or even because nobody wants to front or talk although that last isn't common, at least not for us. But there also could be no known reason. It could just be a glitch in fronting. Figuring out the cause can be frustrating at best and painful at worst. But sometimes if you try to figure it out you can reverse whatever's causing it and front will unlock.
How long does being stuck last? It can last anywhere from a day or so to years. I know of someone who has been stuck at front for a little over two years now. You get tired. Not switching takes a huge toll on your mental health. It's like trying to walk with one broken leg and no crutches or trying to type with your hands behind your back. Both are hard but possible.
So what do I do while I'm stuck front? It's probably a good idea to keep operating system stuff up as much as you can. If you have house rules, continue to follow them. This is not happy fun time and not your time to go move to New York without letting people know... If you can get communications to other people do so. If not, and a big decision needing attention comes up you might have to do what you think is best for the system even without a vote or consensus of any kind.
Also, don't let daily life activities fall to the wayside. After all, those won't wait, no matter what operating system issues you're having. You can't blame not paying the light bill on "Well, I couldn't pay it because John usually pays the bills and he's not here." Above all attempt to keep a level of functionality, even if it feels awkward. And then wait. Unfortunately, that's the best advice I can give.